lalalalalala

Hey awesome people!

I hope you're doing well because, frankly, I am not. Last week was a complete and utter disaster.

Oh wait, you don’t know who’s writing—Tushar here!

We’ve met before, remember?

Today, I’m hijacking this edition to deliver an urgent message:

Never, ever hire anyone. Ever.

Let me tell you why!

So, we needed 3 writers for Inagiffy last week, and I was given the sacred responsibility of finding them.

I sent out this clear message in a bunch of writing groups:

If you’re not blind, you’ll notice I specifically said NOT to send me a portfolio or resume. Cool? Cool.

Naturally, I was expecting crisp, neat pitches (I’ll show you how it’s done later).

But nope. Here’s what I got instead:

Let Me Drop a “Hi”

Some folks thought “hi” was enough effort. Like, just "hi Tushar." That’s it.

Come on, bro!

I don’t know why I replied.

Listen, when I’m hiring, I’m like a girl on Tinder. I’m getting 50+ messages from people trying to get hired.

A plain “hi” or “hello” won’t cut it. These folks got an instant left swipe (read: rejection).

Reverse Psychology

One individual, and I’m not joking, sent me my own message back to me.

I’ve spent the entire weekend trying to decipher this reverse psychology tactic. Was it a power move? An act of rebellion? A cry for help? I have no answers.

If you understand it, join me here and help put me out of my misery.

Talking about misery, because I didn’t get a good writer, I’m now doing double duty on a single salary.

So, if you want to make my day and help me get paid more, just click the ad below.

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Some people sent everything. Resumes, portfolios, samples, essays, their birth certificates, their cat’s vaccination records… You get the point.

Again, think Tinder. Do you send a 30-slide PowerPoint to someone you’re trying to impress?

No! You show some charm, some wit, and a smidge of professionalism.

I don’t have time to entertain what I didn’t ask for. If you’re one of these over-sharers, you need to click the button below.

This is one of the few messages that caught my attention. Why?

Because he read the brief and only sent me what I asked for. And he mentioned big names, which helped.

And see that “lalalalalala” (that simple thing caught my attention).

Also, let me just show you my pitch to Arnav that got me hired:

No one has time for your bullshit, and you have to catch their attention. Let me show you one example of how I caught attention once:

Who the hell writes “Idiot Freelance Writer,” but because the agency name was “The Wise Idiot,” it worked.

After this horrible experience, I am taking matters into my own hands.

If you’ve clicked the link already, you know I’m running a session on Communication 101 for Freelancers.

And hey, since the session is free, you can at least help me get paid by clicking the ad below.

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But wait… who the hell am I to teach you about communication?

Well, I’ve:

1. Interviewed 60+ people on my podcasts.

2. Connected with 200+ folks on Twitter.

3. Talked to everyone from cab drivers to random strangers in cafes.

4. Basically, I have good communication skills.

So, don’t miss out because people can’t just stop hiring anyway. And you won’t get a job until you can communicate your skills.

And I assure you it’s gonna be a fun session!